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Three ways to beat feeling useless with chronic illness

So many times those of us with chronic illness feel useless because we don’t have the energy to do things with our kids, to help around the house, or to contribute to the family finances. We’re often too tired or in pain to do the things we think we should do. While we may not be able to do certain things, we can, indeed, contribute to others lives in so many other ways that we probably don’t think matters.

  1. Lower Your Standards for Usefulness
    The first thing I did that helped me to feel as if I had a purpose to my life may sound a little defeatist or wrong. I had to lower my standards of usefulness.

    My idea of living with a purpose and making a difference in the world was HUGE! When I was a kid, it was being a famous singer. As I got older it was being the BEST homeschooling mom and helping others to do big things for God. When I found I wasn’t able to get out of the house much (or off the couch often), that made me feel useless. The house wasn’t clean, the kids couldn’t run and play with me and I wasn’t changing anyone’s life.

    But when I began to see the little things that I COULD do, I realized that they made a difference in other people’s lives…and sometimes a BIG difference! Instead of hosting big events in person, I hosted an event online. (Before that was a real thing!) Instead of running with my kids, I concentrated on teaching and training them with knowledge and helping them discover who God intended them to be. Instead of writing a best seller, I wrote a little blog that helped others with chronic illness live with more joy.

    Those things turned out to be much more rewarding!
  2. Be Virtually Useful
    Just because we can’t reach out in person, doesn’t mean we can’t help especially in the Information Age! As I mentioned before, I ran an online convention for a few years before online events were even popular. I also took to social media to help others deal with every day issues. I had a texting ministry where I’d text a few people daily to uplift them during a difficult time. I also found ways to earn money online via websites and various original products/services.

    So, I was contributing to my household’s finances even though I wasn’t able to hold a job!
  3. Take Up a New Hobby or Purpose
    Sometimes God will allow you to do the same things you’d like to do in a different way (virtually). Sometimes God gives you a whole new purpose! I have a degree in Speech Communication so when I wasn’t able to do in person speaking engagements, I did them virtually. Later on other things became more important to me.

    One of my passions is purple. I’ve always loved the color. About 11 years ago, I started a fan page on Facebook for purple lovers. That page grew to over 10K fans. The page was just for fun. It doesn’t sell anything and I just share and create and post pretty purple things. That’s all. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve received a comment or message about how important those pretty purple things uplifted someone during a trial in their lives!

    Sometimes you have no idea the importance of something you do for someone else!
  4. See How God Can Use You
    My advice for you if you are struggling to find a purpose because of chronic illness or a chronic condition is to pray to have God reveal to you how He can use you where you are right now. It doesn’t matter what you can’t do. It only matters what you CAN do! So…

    What can YOU do…right now?!
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Don’t they know…

I just had to share this because it’s just too funny. Last week I shared about how my daughter and son in law got me a set of weighted silverware to keep my food in my mouth and not on the floor. Well, I just had to share how it came because I don’t think they quite understand their target market:

If your fingers shake enough that you need a set of weighted stainless steel utensils, you might want to get your husband to help you get them out of the box for you.

Yes. They come with each utensil hard wired in! Each of the two forks and spoons and the one knife comes with TWO twistie ties double twisted (yes in BOTH directions)!

If we didn’t laugh…

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When Even Your iPhone Gets Frustrated with Your Essential Tremors!

Anyone need a giggle break in the midst of 2020? I’ve got you covered! I call this installment of Weird Stuff Happens to Me: When Even Your iPhone Gets Frustrated with Your Essential Tremors!

Yesterday’s cooking event was not without incident. Famous last words: “I don’t need my ‘Kevlar gloves’ to make zoodles!”

So, I proceeded to prove myself wrong by cutting into my nail. This morning while attempting to fill my water bottle, it overflowed onto the counter and the floor. While trying to clean it up, I had an unusual time trying to get the paper towel in my hand and it wound up flying through the air like some Bugs Bunny cartoon.

I decided to write a post about my exciting life with tremors, but while trying to take a picture of my right hand, Siri had a message for me! It’s on the top of the last picture. It says “Hold Still.” 😅😂🤣

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried! ROFL

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Six Things God Uses to Encourage Part 5

This week we’re wrapping up my series based on the Six Things God Uses to Encourage in one of the sermons by Charles Stanley. We’ve talked about God’s Word, Music and Fellowship, Thankfulness, and Humor. This week, I’d like to talk about the last one, Prayer.

Prayer isn’t just a way to communicate with the Father, but it can be a way in which He encourages us. This is especially important when we are struggling in trial–particularly a trial that is chronic.

Not only can we pray to the Creator when we are in need, but we can pray to commune with the Lord to hear His voice that will guide us and encourage us not to give up and that He allows the things He does for a higher purpose. Knowing this can help us to accept things that we cannot change, keep strong for things we can change, and encourage us along the way no matter what is going on because our home is not of this earth but in Heaven.

It may be hard to feel the Lord near to you when you’re in the midst of a trial, but the more you look around and see all He has put here for you to encourage you, the more you will feel Him near and that is a HUGE encouragement!

For this reason, I encourage the Life Beyond Surviving Facebook group to share their prayer requests each Sunday (and at any time a member has a need). Sunday is already a day of rest and to commune with the Lord so Sundays are a day we pray for each other on the group.

If you are on Facebook and would like to join us, we’d love to fellowship and pray with you. I pray you have found some encouragement from this series.

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Six Things God Uses to Encourage Part 4

We’ve been exploring six ways in which the Lord encourages those of us with chronic illness/conditions. We’ve discussed the Word of God, Music, Fellowship, and Thankfulness. This week, I’d like to talk about Humor!

I have always loved humor. It’s become part of my personality. I even enjoy the dreaded pun and I adore making others laugh. What I discovered is that the more difficulties I face, the more important humor is to me. It has a way of disarming the anxiety and adding lightheartedness to an otherwise dreary day of fatigue and pain. Humor has gotten me through a ton of difficulties as I’ve found that God usually hides a little humor inside the struggle.

“A cheerful heart is a good medicine.”—Proverbs 17:22

I didn’t realize it until I started looking, but there is a lot of humor in the Bible. God invented humor as a release, a way of teaching, and a way of coping with the difficult things in our lives. I read a great article about how God uses humor in His Word.

Here’s are a couple of passages from that article:

“But I think Hebrews 11:12 is the funniest verse in the Bible: ‘Therefore there was born even of [Abraham], and him as good as dead at that, as many descendants as the stars in heaven …’ (emphasis mine, NASB).”

“Of course God’s humor is never cruel the way humans twist it to be at times. In fact, God is entirely pure and untainted, thus so is his humor. Such a God inspired the author of Proverbs to write, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful” (15:13), or seen from the opposite point of view in verse 30, “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.” Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Aren’t you glad?”

This is why I share humor and create funny memes to share here and on my Facebook group, Life Beyond Surviving.

Humor is a gift God gives us to help us through the difficult times. What humor have you found hidden inside your struggles?

Come back again next week when I’ll share about how prayer is another thing that God gives us to encourage us.

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Life Beyond Surviving Memes

I have created a batch of memes to post on social media and in the Life Beyond Surviving group on Facebook. Some were created specifically for chronic illness and others were created as JoJoisms, but they fit this site too.

I don’t think most of them are posted anywhere on the site so I wanted to post a few of the best ones. You may find some you relate to.

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Life Beyond Surviving Update

Life has a way of twisting and changing, especially as you grow older and especially when you have chronic illness. These changes lead me to make the decision to return to posting here.

Change#1: I have been classified as Medically Frail.
The way some people collect stamps, I collect diagnoses. My latest ones are Essential Tremors (ET) and Esophageal Dysmotility. So, I shake, rattle, and have a hard time controlling my throat muscles when I need to swallow…at times.

Change#2: There’s been a computer substitution.
The two things that affect me the most right now are Fibro and ET. But it turns out having your fingers shake makes it a bit difficult to use an iPad and that’s how I was able to get online ever since my computer decided to retire. We had to get our son a new laptop to be able to continue to do well in the Film Department at Purdue so I have inherited his old laptop. So, this and future blog posts are brought to you by RAMbus Maximus. RAMbus Minimus, my iPad, is taking a much needed vacation.

Change#3: The Facebook Shuffle.
For almost ten years, I’ve been growing a fan page over on Facebook I named after my blog, For the Love of Purple. When I transitioned to my new laptop, Facebook decided I needed to prove I was me in order to continue to have a voice to over 9100 Facebook fans. Unfortunately, Facebook wouldn’t send me the codes they want me to input and I tried so many times, it has locked me out until such time as Facebook decides I am worthy. I’m afraid my research indicates that it will probably never find me worthy and come June 3rd or thereafter, I will no longer be allowed to post as Admin.

Change#4: I feel God leading me in this direction.
After each of these changes, I have felt more strongly about sharing information, support, inspiration, and humor to uplift those who struggle with chronic illness and conditions. In fact, something that was being posted on Facebook prompted me to want to include Autism in that mix as my son has struggled with his Autism and I find very few people really understand it. To that end, I’ll be starting off this month with a short four part series on what Autism is and what it isn’t. I pray that this short series will help other moms who, like me, had no idea the struggles their child faces might be Autism.

I have a heart to help others who feel alone, struggle with conditions they don’t fully understand, or just feel like they need a place to be uplifted. I’d appreciate your help. If you find my posts helpful, would do me the honor of sharing the blog posts with others who need some inspiration, comfort, and love? Thank you!!

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Having Fun with Chronic Illness

So several of you asked for an update and here it is.

It was Needle Day the end of May. I had an EMG (they stab you with little needles to see if there is nerve damage…sounds like fun, right? ) that found neuropathy in my hands which is probably carpal tunnel.

Later that day I had the blood test for cancer markers which my Oncologist said still shows that I am cancer free!

It was a painful day, but the worst part was I had to wear a red wrap instead of a purple one.  Oh, the horror! ROFL

After seeing the neurologist again for his thoughts on the matter, I now have a few more diagnoses to add to the list.  Along with the neuropathy and growing arthritis, I now also have Essential Tremors.  This is usually familial but isn’t for me as nobody in my family knows of anyone else in the family who has/had it.

It isn’t serious like the Parkinson’s and such they ruled out and it is slow growing.  I’ve probably had it since I was in my late 20s. I thought it was a sugar problem as it was mostly in the mornings before I ate as well as several times I had what I thought was a reaction to too much sugar.  I’ve since limited my sugar intake.  However, I do poke myself in the eye with my mascara and have been known to spill my coffee if I’m not careful in the mornings.  Other than that, I’m good to go for a while. When I’m in my 70s or 80s and I begin to resemble Katherine Hepburn, the medical community may have some better treatments. Until then, I watch my sleep, sugar, food, and try not to stress too much when people think I’m nervous or on something. LOL

Since most of these diagnoses don’t show up in blood tests, I can confidently say that I’m NOT weird!  Now some of you may not agree, but to paraphrase Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, I’m not weird; my doctor had me tested!

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