I’m in the middle of working on the rest of the Finding Joy in the Trials series. I promise to get some more out soon, but until then I had to share this. Over the last several years, I’ve seen several memes on Facebook that said something like:
“I’ve heard that no matter what you’re going through, someone has it worse.”
Not only is that dismissive of someone’s trials, but it causes people to feel afraid to reach out to those who can be supportive and helpful. Further, while we are all dealing with struggles, each one handles things differently. What we need during times of stress is uplifting not shaming.
It doesn’t help you to know that somebody has a more dire problem or is more in debt. What you need are answers. It most certainly can help you to know that you aren’t alone, but the first thing someone needs when they are hurting is to know they are understood and that their feelings are valid.
Can we all agree to be uplifting rather than dismissive? Could we choose to help and support first before we tell someone their needs aren’t important? Let’s let the first thing out of our mouths be, “I understand” or “I’m so sorry” or “What can I do to help?”
Here is the fourth installment of 20 Steps to Finding Joy in the Trials. Each of these videos is very short but incredibly powerful. Not all of these steps are easy, but they can be made a habit slowly in your own time.
I pray this blesses you! See you in the next video!
Hi Survivors! I have a TON of great info I recorded for the Facebook group I had going, but they are very long videos. I wanted to make them available to everyone who could use a way to find the joy in their own struggles, but the videos are very long. The first webinar, 20 Steps to Finding Joy in the Trials was almost an hour long!
So, I chopped it up into bite-sized pieces that are more easily digested and internalized. Here is the introduction:
The way this will work is: I will be releasing one video with one step to joy each week here on the blog. So, make sure you come back or subscribe to the blog!
So several of you asked for an update and here it is.
It was Needle Day the end of May. I had an EMG (they stab you with little needles to see if there is nerve damage…sounds like fun, right? ) that found neuropathy in my hands which is probably carpal tunnel.
Later that day I had the blood test for cancer markers which my Oncologist said still shows that I am cancer free!
It was a painful day, but the worst part was I had to wear a red wrap instead of a purple one. Oh, the horror! ROFL
After seeing the neurologist again for his thoughts on the matter, I now have a few more diagnoses to add to the list. Along with the neuropathy and growing arthritis, I now also have Essential Tremors. This is usually familial but isn’t for me as nobody in my family knows of anyone else in the family who has/had it.
It isn’t serious like the Parkinson’s and such they ruled out and it is slow growing. I’ve probably had it since I was in my late 20s. I thought it was a sugar problem as it was mostly in the mornings before I ate as well as several times I had what I thought was a reaction to too much sugar. I’ve since limited my sugar intake. However, I do poke myself in the eye with my mascara and have been known to spill my coffee if I’m not careful in the mornings. Other than that, I’m good to go for a while. When I’m in my 70s or 80s and I begin to resemble Katherine Hepburn, the medical community may have some better treatments. Until then, I watch my sleep, sugar, food, and try not to stress too much when people think I’m nervous or on something. LOL
Since most of these diagnoses don’t show up in blood tests, I can confidently say that I’m NOT weird! Now some of you may not agree, but to paraphrase Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, I’m not weird; my doctor had me tested!
Been posting several different blog series in the last several months. WHEW! My fingers are tired! ROFL
I’ve got a new series starting up in August. It’s based on a very long video I did for my Facebook group. I’ll be posting a 20 part series once a week beginning in August. It’s called 20 Steps to Finding Joy in the Trial.
Until then, I will be taking a hiatus from the blog for the summer. We are getting ready to send our last kidling off to college and become empty nesters. [insert sad face here]
He’s our second child of two Only Children. They are over nine years apart so they seem like an only child. This will be a big adjustment for us…ok for him too! ROFL
Well, we’ve finally come to the end of this series. I have just one more part of this process, and that’s to help someone else find their joy and praise God in THEIR storm. While you may think this is something you do for others, it has a surprisingly positive effect on the person doing the encouraging as well.
You’ll find that in trying to lift someone else up, you are lifted higher yourself. Part of that comes from the smile effect. Smiling is contagious, so they smile, you smile. When you provide joy or happiness for others, you also feel joy yourself for having lifted someone else up…for having had some small part in bringing joy to another individual in trial of their own.
6. Help someone else
I know it sounds a bit backwards, but it can often feel good to be the solution for someone else’s problem. Sometimes we are almost paralyzed by our fear or stuck in our sadness that we feel a complete lack of control over our lives. It can feel empowering or at least uplifting to be the solution to something, no matter how small the issue is. As they used to say back when I was a little girl, “try it; you’ll like it.”
The other amazing thing about helping someone else is that it tends to be habit-forming. The more you feel good helping others, the more you want to do it. That not only increases your joy, but the joy around you.
You may not be able to become happy about your circumstances, but you can do things that bring you some joy. This joy will help us see the blessings God has put in our lives and this will, eventually, allow us to thank God and even praise him in the storm.
It’s been an incredibly difficult year for my family. As I said, I wrote this as much for me as I did for my readers. I have read it over about three times this week as I have needed these words as much as any of you. Please share your story. How can I pray for you?