War Wounds

This is an article I wrote a few years ago after I had a revelation about how young boys think about their scars. It changed my perspective and I thought it might help someone else out there. I share it again because it’s worth repeating!

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Ever notice that boys love to show off their war wounds? They eagerly relate the stories that came to create their scars–each in his turn trying to top the other’s story.

Women don’t do that. In fact, we tend to hide our scars. We cover them up with clothing, makeup, and embarrassment. It becomes a source of stress that someone will notice and that we will have to apologize for it. We desperately look for ways to keep our wrinkles at bay, our skin from sagging and crinkling. We take sometimes drastic measures to keep thin, to lose weight, to cover up our widening hips. In the dark of night when nobody is watching, we may cry over the person we once were and can no longer see in the mirror. We look at our bodies and despair over what has happened to us.

Well, I’ve decided to take a page from the Men’s War Wound Playbook. I choose to look at my scars, premature aging, turkey waggle, and car accident deformities as a sign of strength that declares to the world that I lived through all of that and I’m still here to tell the tale. Somehow that makes me bold instead of weak, an over-comer instead of a victim.

Most of my scars are in areas of my body only my husband and I will ever see, but one of them is now proudly displayed on my neck where all can see. Some day the scar might fade and the lump may finally disappear completely, but for now, here it is in all its glory.

The first is a headshot of me with my laugh lines (well earned) and my turkey waggle and a hint of my parathyroid surgery war wounds. The following two show more detail of the latter.

The last one is a picture of my hand after the car accident and shows how my middle finger now likes to cozy up to my ring finger upon making a fist. I sure am unique, right? I’ll bet none of you have the same combination of war wounds.

Won’t you join me? What’s the story behind your scars?

I wrote this about eight years ago. I had hoped it would go viral and there would be world acceptance of wrinkles by now. Maybe you’d be willing to pass it along and help the cause?

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At the end of a long, joyous, productive, meaningful life, what will people see when they look into your face? WRINKLES! And they won’t be thinking, “that face shows a joyous, productive, meaningful life” either. They’ll be thinking, “boy is that woman OLD!” Well, I’d like to change all that and I’m asking for your help.

It’s important to use your communication skills to change the world around you for the better. Why start with wrinkles? Well, I’ve written articles about grace in politics and faith before, but it struck me that I never did start at the beginning. In order to start a movement for world grace, I think it needs to begin with something more universal and easier to discuss. If you think of it in colloquial movie terms, this article is a prequel.

Every one of us, if we are blessed, will live to see the day when our face has an abundance of creases and lines. There will come a day when even the fresh-faced, four-year-old will be weathered. I’d like to start at the beginning with something we can probably all agree on and feel confident enough to pass along. I say wrinkles are desirable (dare I say fashionable) and I’m going to prove it.

The Case for Wrinkles

Wrinkles are better than the alternative!
Yes, given the alternative to growing old, wrinkles come in on top! Death is a very distant second! Once you realize how much worse you could have it, wrinkles don’t seem so bad.
Wrinkles are soft.
Yes, the more wrinkled your face is, the softer it gets. My 11 y/o son loves to touch my 48-year-old face and always comments, “It’s so soft!”
Wrinkles are knowledge.
The more wrinkles you have, the more knowledge you MUST have accumulated, even if by sheer luck! You just know things younger people don’t. You’ve lived through stuff.
Wrinkles are earned.
Wrinkles are not some honorary badge. They are earned! Not just anyone can have these babies! Laugh lines mean you must have laughed. A joyous life, even if fraught with struggles, is a prize, indeed. Wrinkles mean you’ve endured, you’ve persevered. Wrinkles mean you have really lived.
Wrinkles show you have character.
Wrinkles are character lines and mean you aren’t just any old body, you’re a character! Wrinkles make you cute, cuddly, adorable, wise, and worthy of honor!
Wrinkles are wisdom!
If you have acquired wrinkles, you MUST have also acquired some amount of wisdom. At the very least you remember history like it was yesterday. You remember what life was like before iPods and can regale the younger generation with quaint stories of what kids did before PlayStation 3. If you’ve really been paying attention or have garnered an education, you can teach people stuff-stuff they might really need to know!
Wrinkles give you license to be silly again.
Let’s face it. When you see a 4-year-old being silly, you think, “How cute!” When you see a 40-year-old being silly, you think, “What an idiot.” When you see a wrinkled old guy being silly, you think, “How cute!”
Wrinkles are your ticket to free help.
If a 29 y/o woman is having a hard time with her lawnmower, you’d rather not take a minute to help her get it started because, hey, you’re busy and her husband will get around to helping her…eventually. If you see an 80-year-old woman struggling to get her Christmas lights up, you’ll take three hours of your day to string them for her!
Wrinkles mean you don’t get any more pimples!
One of the great perks of getting wrinkles is that your face no longer breaks out! You don’t need to worry about those embarrassing blemishes due to oily skin when your face has dried up and turned raisin!
Wrinkles allow you more time to have fun.
Once you realize you’re no Farrah Fawcett (I know I’m dating myself) anymore, you can stop worrying about your looks and focus on the fun of life. Not having to worry about your makeup, the latest hairstyles, and your Jordache Jeans (now I’m REALLY dating myself) means you can wear what’s comfortable and have more time to enjoy life unimpeded by the bonds of high fashion!

You and I may not agree on politics, religion or even what to watch on TV, but I’ll bet we can forge one bond today and agree to declare to the rest of the world that wrinkles are desirable.

If you agree, forward this blog link to everyone you know, wrinkled and non-wrinkled. You don’t need to send it to 25 friends in the next five minutes, but if you do, you will have contributed 25 new giggles to the world! You will also have contributed to the beginning of the Wrinkle Movement.

Together we CAN rid the world of the stigma of wrinkles so that our children will grow up in a wrinkle friendly environment! Who’s with me?