I told you all I’d update you on my progress and, well, I gave it the old college try, but I just couldn’t choose joy with the tools that devotional talked about…the one I told you about last week. I found myself crying more and being frustrated more and my struggles increased.
So last Wednesday, I couldn’t sleep. Woke up several times. Starting/running three businesses while trying to earn a steady income a month before your daughter’s wedding and two months after your dh lost his job is even more stressful than I had imagined. I cried out to God for direction and peace for about an hour and then…
The last time I awoke, I really didn’t think I had been asleep. I felt someone holding my hand, but nobody was there. Somehow I felt it was God.
I turned to my iPad to read the Bible, devotionals and to pray. Then I found myself watching a few In Touch Ministries YouTube videos on grief, struggles, and sadness and then I found one on courage.
I never thought about meditating on the word of God the way he suggests, asking Him questions about how He would do this or how I should follow A or B. I also loved his suggestion not to read through the Bible in a year when you are struggling, but rather to read Psalms or Proverbs. My daughter had told me as much not a few days prior. Finally, I loved his five-point plan for finding courage during dark times.
1. Meditate on God’s Word as your compass
2. Recall past experiences when God helped you through challenges
3. Observe the courage of others and their blessings to give you hope
4. Ask the question “What if I do or don’t do this?”
5. Recall His promise that He will never leave me, forsake me and will always be with me
After a few days, I was scrolling around on the internet and decided to type in “God held my hand” and found this: “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” -Isaiah 41:13
I was dumbfounded as I reflected upon my initial thought as I woke up feeling as if someone was holding my hand. Despite the fact that my left hand was hanging free off the couch and my right hand was pinned between my body and the couch back, it was my right hand that I felt someone was holding!
