“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17
I’ve been talking all this month about the ways in which we, who have chronic illness, can make goals or as some would call them at this time of year New Year’s Resolutions. So far, I’ve talked about health and business or career goals we can still have even given the fact that we lack energy and are in pain. This week, I’d like to focus on family.
Part 3: Family
Family is so important, but it can be difficult to take care of our family when we’re always tired and in pain. I know so many of us feel guilty for not being able to do things with and for our kids or husbands. We beat ourselves up for not being able to cook meals for our church family. Instead of going places or doing things for our family, we may be able to be of help in other non-energetic ways.
Driving is hard for me since my tremors have increased. It takes a lot more energy than I usually possess to shower, dress, drive, and visit. However, I can text or call instead. I can skype or go online and visit with people virtually. That keeps me connected. Instead of making goals to get out more, I’ve resolved to be out more. Invite people over, connect online, be involved more in groups, help others more, call more, keep in touch more often.
Sometimes when a family member is down or has some difficulties, it can be hard to help financially or to be there to help with errands or housework or to cook. But I can be of help by making it a point to text an uplifting quote per day or call weekly to be a sounding board. It’s possible to make a special craft item and ship it to them or write a poem and email it.
I once made it a point to text an uplifting or funny quote every day to a friend who was going through a tough time with family. I couldn’t be there and she didn’t have time to talk, but she found it helpful and uplifting to see my text every morning. She said it really helped her through a very tough time in her life. Just because you don’t think it’s a big gesture, doesn’t mean it isn’t important and meaningful to them. There’s always some way to connect and help others in your family.
My sister and I live across the country from each other and my mom lives in a third state seven hours from our mom. We started planning a Generational conference call once every few months so we could feel as if we were there with each other and chat in real-time. It was my mom, both of her daughters and, on one call, our daughters as well. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t do, but it would never have happened if we hadn’t resolved to plan it.
What would you like to do with family? What could you plan instead? What would be doable yet also meaningful? Plan it for 2020. While we all have adversity, we can all plan some way to connect with family and help one another whether they are your parents or your children.
“A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17
Next week, I’ll share part four on our spiritual lives. Please check back!