The holidays are a time for getting together with friends and family. Many’s the awkward discussion I’ve had when I’ve been asked questions for which there was no acceptable answer.
So many well-meaning friends will tell you to just be positive, don’t speak negative into your life, and don’t complain. I’ve not found this helpful or biblical or sustainable or…healthy. While it is true that what we focus on we bring to our lives, nobody is able to be Polly Positive all the time and trying to do so leaves you frustrated, dejected, and that’s not very positive, is it?
What happens to you when you try to be Polly all the time? You see yourself as a failure because you can’t. You see more negative because it’s a knee-jerk, resentful reaction to Polly Positive’s comments. You begin to one up because you have a need to prove you have the right to be sad or angry. And you do!
You have every right to feel the way you feel. Chronic conditions are so frustrating and depressing because they are…wait for it…CHRONIC! It’s so much easier to deal with things when you know they’ll likely end in a while. I remember feeling awful when I had the flu for a few weeks, but I don’t recall feeling disillusioned with life. I knew that I just needed to wait a few more days or a week and I’d feel better.
Wanna know something else? Allowing yourself to be Negative Nelly and vent for a while, actually helps you to pick yourself up to Polly’s happiness level. Falling down isn’t fatal if you can find a way to pick yourself back up. Allowing yourself a time of grieving your loss of a healthy life isn’t fatal unless you live there and don’t let Polly tell you otherwise! I’d be willing to bet she’s had some negative moments she’s not talking about.
Next week I’ll share how you can answer Polly Positive.